Understanding Addiction

September 26, 2020September 24, 2025 / Grand Times / Leave a comment

Addiction can be understood as the compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance. While not all forms of dependence reach the level of addiction, some are classified as habituation, which includes substances like nicotine, caffeine, and certain psychological conditions. However, hard addiction is distinguished by its physical manifestations in the body.

Hard addiction presents itself through tolerance and physical dependence on the substance. The body adapts to the presence of the substance by adjusting its biochemical, physiological, and psychological systems. As the body becomes accustomed, it requires an increased or more frequent intake to maintain normal function, while the substance’s effects begin to diminish over time. This escalating need for more—whether in frequency or quantity—leads to a cycle of increasing use and deteriorating health. The compulsion of both mind and body ultimately drives the addiction, creating a destructive pattern that is hard to break.

In many ways, a person’s spiritual well-being operates in a similar manner. Scripture tells us that there is a hunger and thirst within the human heart that can only be satisfied by the Spirit of God. However, the heart often seeks to fulfill this longing through the cravings and comforts found in individual’s own spirit. Just as physical hunger and thirst affect both mind and body, so too does the deep spiritual longing drive people to seek satisfaction in various ways.

The body’s senses are a powerful influence that instinctively demands attention when the mind, emotions, or spirit are in need. This drive for relief or happiness is inherent in every human heart, albeit to varying degrees. For the Christian, true satisfaction and lasting happiness come through the presence of God’s Spirit. Yet for those who do not seek God’s Spirit, they often turn to false satisfaction that fuels further cravings. This cycle of spirit-filling, as opposed to being filled with the Holy Spirit, leads to fleeting happiness and persistent desire.

In every human heart, one of these two forces—the Spirit of God or the spirit of self—will dominate, and the outcome is most evident in those struggling with addiction. This dynamic also explains why individuals in recovery can experience lasting change when active faith is involved. When faith guides the journey, healing is not just possible but can be profound and enduring.

The following brief descriptions touch on emotions common to our humanity. Insecurity, Discouragement, Loneliness, Anxiety, Inadequacy, Inferiority, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Approval Seeking, Obsession, Neediness, Identity Confusion, Feeling Second Best, and other areas of emotional struggle.

Are your thoughts and emotions weighing you down? Imagine a sacred refuge for your mind—a healing retreat designed by God for your most challenging emotions. Blue Skies invites you to explore the solace of Philippians 4:8, the ultimate destination for spiritual peace. Blue Skies: Above The Dark Clouds Of Broken Thinking

Obsession In Relationship

September 25, 2020September 24, 2025 / Grand Times / 24 Comments

Obsession is a compulsive fixation on an idea, often leading to an overwhelming preoccupation. If you find yourself fixating on a particular person in your relationships, take a moment to assess your thoughts. Is your mind is persistently consumed by this person? If so, obsession might be at the core of your struggle. While this may be mistaken for love, it is not.

Desperation aptly captures the experience of being fixated on someone who may either be disinterested or not emotionally healthy for you. This feeling can be consuming, overwhelming every hour of your day and convincing you that life without this person feel empty. Does this resonate with you? If so, you’re not alone—millions of people face this internal battle. As a Christian, you might wonder how such a condition could develop.

Surprisingly, this emotional turmoil can arise within Christian culture for various reasons. One of the contributing factors may be our tendency to equate “faith” with the desire to be in a relationship with someone we long for. We may convince ourselves that if we pray hard enough or have enough faith, the relationship will materialize. Our minds are often drawn to verses or signs we interpret as confirmation of our desires, which only deepens the fixation. In this way, we mistakenly confuse obsessive yearning with faulty-faith, missing the truth that what we’re experiencing is not love but obsession.

The following brief descriptions touch on emotions common to our humanity. Insecurity, Discouragement, Loneliness, Anxiety, Inadequacy, Inferiority, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Approval Seeking, Obsession, Neediness, Identity Confusion, Feeling Second Best, and other areas of emotional struggle.

Mechanics Of Depression

August 22, 2020October 17, 2025 / Grand Times / 24 Comments

The word “depress” itself paints a vivid image of what it means to experience depression. Picture something being physically pressed down—pushed from its natural, elevated state. Now, imagine the human spirit: vibrant, balanced, and thriving. When life’s weight bears down, that spirit can be pushed into a low point—a depression, both mentally and emotionally. This is why we often say someone is “low in spirit.” Depression can be triggered by difficult life experiences, but it also has biological roots, including changes in brain function—particularly in the hippocampus, a region linked to memory, mood, and emotional regulation.

When someone is depressed, their vitality and ability to function are significantly diminished. Feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and despair may result in varying degrees. The root cause of depression is often elusive, making it difficult to pinpoint. Globally, over 300 million people suffer from clinical depression.

Common symptoms include sleep disturbances (such as insomnia or excessive sleep), changes in appetite, and difficulty with concentration or thinking clearly. Social withdrawal is also typical, with those suffering from depression often isolating themselves, despite the pleas of friends and family to re-engage.

For both the person experiencing depression and their loved ones, it can feel irreparable. Yet, Scripture offers a redirection and hope. In Matthew 5:3, Jesus speaks of the “poor in spirit” being blessed, even though this may not feel like a blessing in the moment. The term “poor” or “pressed down” in spirit echoes the experience of depression. When we are spiritually depleted or pressed down, we open ourselves to the potential of receiving the wealth of Christ’s Spirit, which can restore and uplift our hearts. Just as air fills our lungs, God’s Spirit longs to fill us with new hope and a higher perspective, one that lifts us from despair.

At times, we may become so entrenched in depression that we can’t see beyond the darkness. It may feel like a hole, just as Joseph experienced when he was cast into a literal pit. We can empathize with Joseph and others who find themselves trapped and unable to help themselves. Perhaps this is where you find yourself now. Yet, like Joseph, we can recognize that our greatest hope comes from outside of ourselves. By lifting our eyes to God, we take the first step toward lifting the weight of depression. Ultimately, God’s objective is to rescue our hearts and minds. One step at a time, Jesus seeks to infuse us with hope. Faith not only renews our hearts but also has a remarkable effect on brain function, providing the strength we need to heal.

The following touch on emotions common to our humanity. Insecurity, Discouragement, Loneliness, Anxiety, Inadequacy, Inferiority, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Approval Seeking, Obsession, Neediness, Identity Confusion, Feeling Second Best, and other areas of emotional struggle.

Hopelessness

July 15, 2020September 24, 2025 / Grand Times / 1 Comment

Hopelessness can be defined as the absence of expectation for good, the belief that happiness is unattainable, or the feeling that life’s problems have no solution. Those caught in a hopeless state often feel paralyzed, unable to seek help because they lack confidence that hope exists for their situation. The desire to give up is a common struggle for those battling hopelessness. However, any expression of desperation is a sign that the individual is still holding onto a faint hope, even if it’s not immediately visible. These moments may not feel uplifting or optimistic, but they indicate an inward plea for rescue.

Consider the Biblical story of Ruth. Naomi, Ruth’s mother-in-law, was overwhelmed by hopelessness and expressed desperation on behalf of herself and her daughters-in-law. She said, “Return, my daughters! Why should you go with me… the Lord has gone forth against me?” (Ruth 1:12-13). Naomi even asked to be called “Mara,” meaning bitter, recognizing her own inner turmoil. Yet, these laments, though filled with despair, still reflected a glimmer of hope—an acknowledgment that God’s sovereignty could bring change in a way that was beyond her own ability.

Similarly, Job, in the midst of overwhelming loss, offered desperate expressions of faith. Despite losing everything, he declared, “Though He slay me, yet I will trust Him.” (Job 13:15). Job’s trust in God, despite the agony, was a powerful reminder that even in the most hopeless circumstances, hope can still be found. God’s intervention for Job was nothing short of miraculous.

Throughout the Bible, we see countless stories of individuals who were rescued from hopelessness by God’s faithfulness. Hopelessness is not beyond God’s reach—He specializes in bringing hope to the hopeless. The very essence of the Gospel message—the salvation of the lost—is hope for the hopeless. The resurrection of the dead is hope for the hopeless. A new, eternal life free from pain and disappointment is the ultimate hope for the hopeless.

Solomon, the wisest man to ever live, observed the fleeting nature of worldly pursuits. In the book of Ecclesiastes, he reflects on the emptiness of chasing after earthly pleasures and achievements. With unlimited wealth and resources, Solomon achieved what many consider the fulfillment of life’s greatest desires. Yet, he concluded that all of it was futile. “I said to myself, ‘Come now, I will test you with pleasure. So enjoy yourself. And behold, it too was futility. I said of laughter, ‘It is madness,’ and of pleasure, ‘What does it accomplish?’” (Ecclesiastes 2:1-2).

Solomon’s ultimate conclusion on the matter was simple yet profound: “Here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God…” (Ecclesiastes 12:13).

To fear God is the key to finding hope. The word fear means to stand in awe of His majesty and to trust that His plans are greater than any hopelessness we face. Only God can clear the clouds of despair and restore hope in ways that no one else can.

The following brief descriptions touch on emotions common to our humanity. Insecurity, Discouragement, Loneliness, Anxiety, Inadequacy, Inferiority, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Approval Seeking, Obsession, Neediness, Identity Confusion, Feeling Second Best, and other areas of emotional struggle.

Approval Seeking

February 8, 2020September 24, 2025 / Grand Times / 23 Comments

I remember my mother talking about a group gaining popularity in her time called the Red Hat Society. She described how these older women would gather wearing red hats and purple dresses. The tacky choice of fashion colors had a purpose and that was to proclaim freedom from cultural confinements and redhat expectations of their youth. I vividly recall myself as a young woman coming upon a restaurant table filled with just such ladies. They were, of course, all in red hats—and the stark contrast of their purple dresses only magnified their fearless pursuit of independence. I couldn’t help but notice how they bubbled-over with laughter and delight. Although their happiness struck me, I simultaneously cringed at how silly they looked and couldn’t imagine ever doing such a thing. Now, I can’t help but admire the sense of freedom they openly expressed and the idea of what it stood for.

Life-long pursuit of approval
Seeking approval is the natural default of being human — we are born this way. Depending on the circumstances, a child can feel compelled to please or seek approval to varying degrees. People struggling with the need for approval often remember the conditions that triggered them to perform to meet perceived expectations. Perhaps it was an uninterested parent or a sibling who excelled and found favor. Multiple influences, including outside the family unit, sometimes cultivate the compulsion to please people. Whatever the reason, one common theme that connects them all is—fear of disapproval.

As we venture from adolescence to the grown-up world, we feel the pressure to perform ramped up to an even higher degree. We enter a new era of disapproving eyes, people from dysfunctional backgrounds of approval-seeking. It becomes hard work to avoid negative opinions; the more we try, the more anxious and unsettled we feel. A.W. Tozer said: “The heart’s fierce effort to protect itself from every slight, to shield its touchy honor from the bad opinion of friend and enemy, will never let it rest.”

Jesus on approval seeking
Jesus describes the propensity of human disapproval in Matthew 11:18: “For John didn’t spend his time eating and drinking, and you say, ‘He’s possessed by a demon.’ The Son of Man, on the other hand, feasts and drinks, and you say, ‘He’s a glutton and a drunkard, and a friend of tax collectors and other sinners.”

His words give us great insight into people’s general tendency to see things negatively, if not entirely erroneously. As Christians, we are free from all the errors in man’s judgments. Jesus gave His life in exchange for our sins so that we may be justified, but it’s up to us to the extent that we embrace the fullness of this freedom while on earth. You may be sensing the inclination to do so to a greater degree.

Does that mean we will finally earn people’s approval by this divine substitution? On the contrary, we will still let people down. In addition, those who are disappointed in Jesus will be disappointed in us. If they hate Jesus, they will hate us. Jesus confirms the unreasonable nature of humanity in John 15:25: “They hated me without cause.”

There is no end except in Christ
The good news is that as we mature in age, many of us become aware that the fickleness of human approval never ends. As a result, we find our people-pleasing tendencies begin to decrease. The golden carrot of validation we’ve been chasing all these years loses appeal. With the help of the Lord, we begin to cultivate a healthy disregard for the criticisms that once kept our bellies tied in knots. Could it possibly be time to buy a red hat?

But we must be cautious of another slippery slope for those who have always sought approval. If pleasing others has been our struggle, then a subtle projection of this endeavor onto God Himself is often the natural progression. We may slip automatically into the mindset of seeking the approval of God, and always doubting that we are good enough for Him, always working and trying harder to please Him. But God never intended this kind of bondage for us, either.

Our minds may need to understand in a greater way that God has provided not only rescue for our people-pleasing dilemma but also for our God-pleasing, performance-based patterns. Grasping the latter is what brings ultimate rescue to both. Do we fully realize that God’s love is not contingent on our efforts and deeds? He does not regard the disapproval of others or our own failed expectations. When God looks at us, He sees us wrapped in Christ’s perfect robe of righteousness. We are approved based on what He has done on our behalf—each clothed in a garment of His royal reputation. People pleasing, approval seeking, and earning favor with God have no merit or influence in the spiritual realm. We are, in a truer sense, partakers of a heavenly group that celebrates freedom from performance-based expectations—not a red hat society, but a purple-robed society—“a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people” (1 Peter 2:9). We can confidently bubble-over with God’s approval, acceptance and immeasurable grace. Oh, what rest for the wearied, approval-seeking soul!

Are your thoughts and emotions weighing you down? Imagine a sacred retreat for your mind—a healing refuge designed by God for your most challenging emotions. Blue Skies invites you to explore the solace of Philippians 4:8, the ultimate destination for spiritual peace. Blue Skies Above the Dark Clouds of Broken Thinking

Understanding Neediness

February 7, 2020October 17, 2025 / Grand Times / 26 Comments

Neediness can be described as an overwhelming desire for affection, attention, or reassurance. Those struggling with neediness may find their sense of self-worth closely tied to continuous affirmation from others. If these needs are not consistently met, they experience a sense of unease or insecurity. While receiving validation may provide temporary security, this sense of fulfillment is short-lived, quickly giving way to a renewed and insatiable desire for more.

Individuals who struggle with neediness often observe that their relationships begin to deteriorate as others try to meet these high expectations but eventually find the demand too overwhelming. This can create a cycle where relationships crumble, yet the needy person internalizes the situation as personal rejection, deepening their need for further affirmation. This pattern frequently leads to frustration and hostility, contributing to unhealthy relationship dynamics. As neediness persists, it often leaves the individual with an ongoing sense of emptiness and desperation.

There are many factors that can contribute to the development of this deep, unrelenting need. These may range from personality traits, compulsions, and emotional deprivation to past experiences of inadequate or overindulgent nurture. Emotional struggles such as insecurity, anxiety, and depression can also play a significant role in intensifying the sense of neediness.

If you identify with the struggle of neediness, there is hope and freedom. You don’t have to surrender to the emptiness that is fueling these intense feelings. Instead, you are invited to find true security in the unwavering love of Jesus, who longs to reshape your sense of worth. While the human heart naturally seeks validation, Scripture provides wisdom and guidance for receiving it in a spiritually healthy and grounded way. Discovering your unshakable value in Christ is both liberating and transformative, offering lasting peace and fulfillment.

Understanding Loneliness

February 7, 2020September 24, 2025 / Grand Times / 23 Comments

Loneliness is often described as the sadness that arises from isolation or a lack of companionship. As we age, this sense of loneliness can intensify. However, it is interesting to note that many people experience loneliness even when they are not physically alone. This is because loneliness often stems from something deeper than the absence of others—frequently it is a state of mind.

While loneliness can arise from a lack of community, it is often rooted in a feeling of disconnect. Perhaps a significant season has passed, leaving a profound sense of loss, or life simply hasn’t unfolded as expected. Sometimes, personal trials leave us feeling isolated from those around us. Regardless of the cause, loneliness manifests when we feel there is no one in our lives who truly understands us or shares our experiences. This lack of meaningful connection is the heart of what makes loneliness so difficult to endure.

Even within a community, people struggling with loneliness often find it difficult to form authentic, heart-level connections. In their search for companionship, they may turn to fleeting comforts that ultimately leave them feeling even emptier. Temporary solutions such as—social media binging, workaholism, overeating, substance use, or unhealthy relationships—offer brief relief, but they rarely fulfill the deeper need for genuine connection.

In Christian communities, the temptation to fill loneliness with routine rather than authentic relationships is common. People come and go, but true openness and transparency often remain aloof. Recognizing loneliness and the human tendency to self-medicate is an essential step toward seeking healthier, more fulfilling solutions.

Loneliness, however, can be a divine invitation—a chance for God to draw us closer to Him and lead us to deeper, more meaningful relationships with others. If you are struggling with loneliness, a helpful first step might be to explore local churches or support communities that align with your values. Faith-based online communities can also provide a place of belonging and shared understanding.

As C.S. Lewis famously said, “What? You too? I thought I was the only one.” This simple yet profound statement captures the heart of our longing for connection—a reminder that we are not alone in our feelings of isolation, and that the right relationships can offer the understanding and comfort we deeply need.

The following brief descriptions touch on emotions common to our humanity. Insecurity, Discouragement, Loneliness, Anxiety, Inadequacy, Inferiority, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Approval Seeking, Obsession, Neediness, Identity Confusion, Feeling Second Best, and other areas of emotional struggle.

Are your thoughts and emotions weighing you down? Imagine a sacred retreat for your mind—a healing refuge designed by God for your most challenging emotions. Blue Skies invites you to explore the solace of Philippians 4:8, the ultimate destination for spiritual peace. Blue Skies: Above The Dark Clouds Of Broken Thinking.

Understanding Inferiority

February 6, 2020September 24, 2025 / Grand Times / 25 Comments

Inferiority is the feeling of being of a lower degree, rank, value, or merit than others. This crippling emotion can manifest in many ways. One way is the inability to speak up because the person struggling with inferiority feels their input is not valuable enough to voice. They may also downplay special occasions in their lives, thinking that a celebration would not interest anybody else. They often worry they are an inconvenience to people.

For this reason, they are quick to put themselves last or take themselves out of the equation altogether. They frequently demean themselves before others have an opportunity. They live life feeling undeserving because they sincerely believe they are inferior.

Inferiority hinders judgment and sound choices because it stems from a faulty FeelingInferior- foundation. A simplified example might look like this: If a person’s shoe size is seven, and they were teased in their young lives for having bigger feet, they may buy undersized shoes that are painfully tight. Their choice is based on a faulty foundation that stems from a past influence.

Faulty choices can overflow into many areas of life for someone who feels inferior. The people they choose to date may be bad for them. The job they take might be in an unhealthy environment. The friends they select might have negative influences on their lives. The person struggling with inferiority will think (based on their faulty foundation) that these decisions are their best options, even if they are not.

Unfortunately, most people will treat a person who feels inferior according to their inferiority simply because the world responds to the power of observation and suggestion. In the psychological realm, this is called neuron mirroring. For instance, if the person is intelligent yet feels stupid, they may project the latter. Most people they come in contact with will treat them the way they think, even if they are brilliant.

The truth is that none of their feelings of inferiority have any basis in spiritual reality. Yet, they still feel bound by them until the value they place on the world’s opinion becomes less. The only hope for their struggle is to become intimately acquainted with God’s value system—and then learn to embrace it—regardless of how they feel.

Christians who struggle with inferiority may have head knowledge of how much God values people but never believe it is true for them.

Understanding Feelings Inadequacy

February 6, 2020September 24, 2025 / Grand Times / 22 Comments

Inadequacy is the emotionally painful experience of feeling insufficient or incapable. It is the opposite of confidence and competence, and those who struggle with inadequacy often feel as though they fall short in specific areas of their lives. Regardless of the validity of this belief, it feels deeply true to them, creating a sense of emotional distress that can be hard to escape.

Individuals struggling with inadequacy are often overcome by feelings of humiliation and shame, fearing that they will be exposed as less than others. The concern that their perceived shortcomings will be discovered and lead to their replacement by someone more capable creates a constant sense of threat. As a result, they can feel persistently vulnerable, sometimes becoming withdrawn or excessively needy in an attempt to cope with their inner turmoil.

In an effort to protect themselves, many people who struggle with inadequacy build a facade of capability. On the outside, they may appear competent, but on the inside, they often feel like impostors who must maintain a false appearance to avoid being “found out.” This effort to retreat into an acceptable persona may provide temporary relief, but it leaves a growing emotional void. Underneath the surface, feelings of inferiority, insecurity, and anxiety continue to multiply.

To ease their inner distress, individuals with a deep sense of inadequacy may seek excessive reassurance. They recognize their struggles and want to overcome them, but even with this awareness, they still feel deeply inadequate.

In his book Pursuit of God, author A.W. Tozer speaks to the natural human tendency to protect the heart when feeling inadequate. He writes, “The heart’s fierce effort to protect itself from every slight, to shield its touchy honor from the bad opinion of friend and enemy, will never let it rest.” Indeed, inadequacy robs a person of peace, leaving them restless and troubled.

Fortunately, God provides guidance and healing for this painful emotional experience. While it takes time to understand the root causes of inadequacy and navigate the emotional challenges it presents, overcoming it is possible with God’s help. Through His wisdom, grace, and truth, individuals can find freedom from the lie of inadequacy’s hold.

Understanding Discouragement

February 6, 2020September 24, 2025 / Grand Times / 25 Comments

To be discouraged is to feel disheartened—it is the state where courage, hope, and confidence are stripped away. The dictionary defines discouragement as being deprived of these vital qualities, and many factors can contribute to it, including disapproval, rejection, and intimidation. It can arise from external pressures or stem from internal struggles with perception and emotions.

A key characteristic of discouragement is the feeling of being unable to move forward. For example, if someone pours effort into a project only to face consistent criticism or neglect, they may lose the energy or motivation to continue. Over time, this leads to a sense of disappointment and mental fatigue, potentially leading to a deep-seated belief in failure. This experience is not limited to work—it can affect all areas of life.

What many fail to recognize is that discouragement is one of the most powerful tools Satan uses to derail us. God has equipped each person with unique gifts and talents, meant to be shared with the world. Discouragement is the enemy’s way of stealing not only our current potential but also our future opportunities. As a result, those struggling with discouragement often settle for less, allowing doubt and persistent feelings of inadequacy to plague their thoughts, leaving them wondering what’s the use?

The tragic outcome of this struggle is that many people are discouraged from reaching their full potential. Opportunities slip by unnoticed, and life’s possibilities appear out of reach. If you recognize these patterns in your own life, know that you are not alone. The first step is acknowledging that God has created you for something much greater and that it may be time to rise up against the weight of discouragement.

The good news is that Scripture offers powerful tools for overcoming this emotional battle. By embracing the truth of God’s promises, you can begin to shift the trajectory of your life. With His strength, you can fight against discouragement and reclaim the future He has designed for you.