Bullies And God

“Bullies in the Bible”

The Bible offers much insight into the topic of bullying, with one of the most well-known passages being the story of David and Goliath in 1 Samuel 17. We often marvel at the young boy, David, who faced off against a literal giant—Goliath, the bully. Goliath was said to be over nine feet tall, nearly the height of a typical room’s floor-to-ceiling height.

Reflecting on this story, we notice some compelling parallels to the dynamics of bullying. But first, it’s important to recognize that “bullying” is not a modern phenomenon—it’s been around for as long as human history. In fact, many scholars interpret this passage as a metaphor for the ultimate bully, Satan, who opposes Jesus, the Good Shepherd of our Souls.

In verse 1, we see the formation of a bullying environment:

“Now the Philistines gathered their forces for war and assembled…” (v.1)

The word “gathered” suggests building numbers, creating a fertile environment for bullying. Bullies often form large groups of followers—gatherings that can grow to terrifying proportions. This sense of growing momentum is achieved by bullies cultivating loyalty and using intimidation as a tool for control.

Have you ever experienced the eerie silence around a person who is being bullied? That silence is often a tactic used by bullies to sow fear and maintain control. The followers of the bully may not be loyal to the agenda but are silenced out of fear of retribution. Martin Luther King Jr.’s famous words, “There comes a time when silence is betrayal,” ring especially true here. For the person being bullied, silence can feel like betrayal. And make no mistake—this silence is strategically cultivated by the bully to isolate their target.

In verse 4, we gain further insight into Goliath’s role as the bully:

“A champion named Goliath, who was from Gath, came out of the Philistine camp.” (v.4)

Often, we think of the story as solely about David and Goliath, but it’s actually part of a much larger battle between the Israelites and the Philistines. Goliath was just the tool, the means by which the Philistines sought to assert their dominance. In reality, the Philistines are the true antagonists. They believed they were the victims, using that narrative to justify their aggression. This is another common tactic of bullies—they often play the victim in order to solicit sympathy and further their cause. By portraying themselves as wronged, they deflect attention from their harmful behavior.

Verse 5 gives us a closer look at Goliath, the bully:

“He had a bronze helmet on his head and wore a coat of scale armor of bronze weighing five thousand shekels.”(v.5)

Five thousand shekels equates to about 78 pounds—this bully was strong, well-armed, and imposing. His size alone made him appear superior. Bullies often thrive on perceived superiority, using their physical or social stature as a weapon to instill fear.

Verse 8 reveals Goliath’s verbal bullying:

“Goliath stood and shouted to the ranks of Israel.” (v.8)

Discrediting the victim is another powerful tactic that bullies use. The bully’s words can confuse and disorient their target, leading them to question their own worth and abilities. This erodes confidence and hope, which is exactly what happened to the Israelites. They were paralyzed with fear.

In verse 11, we see the effects of bullying:

“The Israelites were dismayed and terrified.” (v.11)

This moment captures the essence of how bullying can make its victims doubt themselves. It’s a technique known as gaslighting, where the bully’s tactics cause the victim to question their own reality. At this point, it felt as if the Israelites were doomed, and indeed, they were on the brink of despair.

When young David arrived on the scene, his own brother—part of the Israelite army—mocked him. This is another tragic facet of bullying: the breakdown of support systems. Sometimes, those closest to the victim may join in or turn away, further isolating the one being bullied.

But David, who had spent much time in the fields as a shepherd, meditating on God, brought a different perspective. His faith in something bigger than the bully—his trust in God Himself—changed the narrative. Sometimes, when we’re caught in the whirlwind of a bullying situation, it’s difficult to see beyond our emotions. Yet, this broader perspective is exactly what we need in moments of crisis.

When King Saul heard of David’s hope and boldness, he quickly allowed David to face Goliath in battle. The words David spoke in verse 45 turned the tide:

“I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty.” (v.45)

David’s confidence was rooted in his complete trust in the Lord. He knew that, as God’s servant, he had nothing to fear. For Goliath to come against David was to come against God’s people, and in that, David found strength. He wasn’t relying on his own abilities, but on God’s provision and power. Remarkably, David had already been prepared for this moment by his experiences defending his sheep from wild animals. His humble beginnings as a shepherd had trained him to face giants—both literal and metaphorical. Armed with only a sling and a stone, David brought down the bully and secured victory.

I pray that if you find yourself in a bullying situation, you, too, will draw on God’s provision and courage to face your Goliath.

Bullies rely on subtle, manipulative tactics.
Recognizing the game is the first step to ending it.
➡️ [Grab your Bully Proofing guide today.]
#ArmedWithInformation

For more information on the characteristics of a bully, visit:

Bullies Demand Loyalty

Bullies Discredit

Bullies Play The Victim

Bullies Gaslight

Bullies Crave Superiority

X Marks The Bully

Bullies Phantom Influence

Bully Proofing

X Marks The Bully

X Marks the Bully
In the preceding sections, we’ve explored some often-overlooked traits of bullies: they play the victim, crave superiority, demand loyalty, and work to discredit anyone they see as a threat. In this portion of Bully Awareness, we introduce a powerful mental tool: placing an “X” on bullying behavior—both the traits we’ve already identified and the new ones we continue to observe.

Placing a mental X mark is more than just symbolic. It helps us clearly identify bullying behavior and recognize it as a psychological warning sign. You might be surprised how effective this can be in resisting manipulation. One of the main reasons bullying persists is our human tendency to forget—or even deny—that someone is, in fact, a bully. This is partly due to a psychological dynamic similar to Stockholm Syndrome.

Stockholm Syndrome is a condition in which hostages develop emotional bonds with their captors—a form of psychological survival. The term originates from a 1973 bank robbery in Stockholm, Sweden, where hostages, after six days of captivity, began sympathizing with and defending their captors. The phenomenon illustrates how abuse of power, fear, and isolation can warp our perception and create emotional dependence—even loyalty—to the source of our suffering.

Although most bullies are not literal kidnappers, many use similar tactics of psychological captivity. Research has shown that elements of Stockholm Syndrome can appear in various environments—workplaces, homes, schools—where control and manipulation are at play.

Here are some key parallels:

  • Perceived Threats: The bully convinces the victim that speaking out or challenging the status quo will lead to isolation or rejection.

  • Small Acts of Kindness: Occasional kindness is strategically used to maintain loyalty and confuse the victim.

  • Isolation from Other Perspectives: Bullies often work to silence outside influences or alternative viewpoints.

  • Perceived Inability to Escape: Victims begin to believe they are stuck and must simply make the best of it.

This is a form of toxic captivity. That’s why the mental X is so valuable—it keeps us focused on reality. The “x” in the word toxic serves as a fitting reminder. Visualizing that X on any bullying behavior helps break the spell of manipulation. It also signals to others that we are aware—and that awareness invites connection.

When one person begins to recognize the bullying for what it is, it encourages others to do the same. This shift from “me” to “we” can dissolve the isolation bullies rely on. Suddenly, conversations can happen. Ideas for change can emerge. Collaboration shines light on the situation and begins to weaken the grip of control. It can even help address that false belief that there is no way out.

You may already be thinking of someone in your life who fits this description. Perhaps it’s someone you care about deeply—a family member, neighbor, fellow church member, or even a public figure. The truth is, bullies don’t always look like villains. But placing that mental X is a courageous first step in protecting ourselves and others.

And for those bullies open to change, kindness and compassion can be powerful tools for redirection. But until that change comes—get your mental pen ready. Draw a bold X over any behavior that holds you or others hostage. Awareness is the beginning of freedom.

Bullies rely on subtle, manipulative tactics.
Recognizing the game is the first step to ending it.
➡️ [Get your Bully Proofing guide today.]
#ArmedWithInformation

Bully Proofing

Bullies Crave Superiority

 Bullying Awareness: “The Superiority Complex of a Bully”

Bullying has been part of human culture since the dawn of time—whether it was Napoleon, King Henry VIII, or Catherine the Great. Power-hungry leaders have always sought to place others beneath them. They crave superiority. While the classic image of a bully is someone physically intimidating, true dominance often stems not from size, but from intellect, skill, resources, or status.

A bully’s drive for superiority is usually rooted in deep-seated insecurity. To overcompensate, they construct a world in which they can appear superior—not just to others, but to themselves. Often, these individuals possess charismatic or winsome personalities, which can make their true nature difficult to detect.

One of the most destructive by-products of a bully’s need for dominance is their obsession with preserving their persona. To them, bullying is less about the target (which may be you or someone you care about) and more about managing how they’re perceived. The victim often becomes collateral damage when the bully feels their superiority is being questioned or threatened. This is why a bully may repeatedly single someone out for public humiliation—to reassert their dominance.

Victims may not realize they’ve stepped on a hornet’s nest by simply offering a suggestion, asking a question, or challenging an idea. The bully’s reaction often comes with double intensity. What seemed like a reasonable comment can provoke a disproportionate response—a verbal firehose turned on full blast. The bully’s weaponized need for superiority is always ready to fire.

You may be dealing with a bully if you’ve experienced any of the following:

  1. Have you tried to reason with someone, only to be shocked by their intense reaction?

  2. Did that response intimidate you or undermine your credibility?

  3. Does the person remain calm only when you agree or submit?

Recognizing the signs of superiority-driven bullying is essential, especially when it comes to supporting others. If you see someone reacting to another with exaggerated intensity, resist the urge to join in. Ruining someone’s reputation is a classic tactic bullies use to assert dominance. By refusing to participate—or better yet, stepping away—you give the targeted person a chance to recover their footing.

Bullies rely on subtle, manipulative tactics.
Recognizing the game is the first step to ending it.
➡️ [Get your Bully Proofing guide today.]
#ArmedWithInformation

Bully Proofing

Bullies Demand Loyalty

Bullying Awareness: “Misuse of Loyalty”

Bullies often enlist loyalty not as a virtue, but as a weapon. You might frequently hear the word loyalty in their vocabulary, though rarely in its true spirit. It’s often disguised in seemingly harmless questions like, “Are you with me?”, “Can I count on you?”, or “Do I have your support?”—phrases designed to foster a sense of camaraderie. But with a bully, there’s usually a hidden agenda: loyalty becomes a tool to divide, to pit people against someone or something.

The dictionary defines loyalty as faithful adherence. With its positive connotation, we tend to view loyalty as inherently good. But for a bully, loyalty is transactional—it’s not about mutual respect or trust, but control. Any deviation from this “faithfulness” is seen as betrayal.

Bullies use various manipulative tactics to secure loyalty. One of the most common is offering favor or acceptance. It feels good to be in a bully’s good graces—and there are often tangible perks. In the school lunchroom, it might be an invitation to sit at the popular table. In the workplace, it could be the promise of advancement. In social settings, the reward might be recognition or status. At home, it might be the temporary calm of avoiding conflict. The risk of being labeled “disloyal” becomes too great for many, making loyalty a powerful lever in the bully’s hands. With this single tactic, bullies can create a surprisingly compliant following.

Another method is subtle blackmail—not in the form of dramatic threats, but through veiled references to personal missteps or past mistakes. Bullies are adept at uncovering vulnerabilities and using them to maintain control.

They also inflate their image of loyalty. Like their own publicist, a bully often brags about exaggerated support from others—some of whom may privately disagree with them. This can create a false sense of consensus, leading to a “go along to get along” mentality. Few people want to be the lone voice of dissent within what appears to be a unified front.

In summary, recognizing the manipulation of loyalty is key to understanding how bullying takes root in a community. Start by asking yourself these questions:

  • Have you been flattered or overly favored to gain your loyalty?

  • Have you felt pressured to adopt a group mentality against someone or something?

  • Have you feared consequences for not supporting someone’s agenda?

Combatting bullying begins with awareness. Refuse to be swept into manipulative loyalties. Choosing not to follow the crowd in these situations helps disrupt the momentum that keeps a bully in power.

Bullies rely on subtle, manipulative tactics.
Recognizing the game is the first step to ending it.
➡️ [Get your Bully Proofing guide today.]
#ArmedWithInformation

Bully Proofing

Bullies Discredit

Bullying Awareness Series: Part 1 – “The Subtle Power of Discrediting” 

A skillful way we can take a stand against bullying is by shining a light on the subtle behaviors that often go unnoticed—traits that reveal the true nature of a bully. 

We begin with one of the most damaging tactics: discrediting.

Discrediting is a key method bullies use to gain control and influence. According to the New Oxford American Dictionary, to discredit means “to harm the reputation of someone or something, making it seem false or unreliable.” In essence, it’s a deliberate attempt to weaken someone’s credibility in order to elevate one’s own.

This tactic is disturbingly effective. By discrediting others, bullies often attract supporters who are either afraid of becoming the next target or who are deceived into believing the false narrative. Over time, this manipulation can lead to significant social power. We see it happen across all areas of life—schools, families, workplaces, churches. Bullies come in all ages, roles, and genders.

To help identify this trait in action, ask yourself:

  1. Is there a repeated pattern of discrediting others?

  2. Are people hesitant or afraid to speak positively about the targeted individual?

  3. Does the discrediting seem to enhance the bully’s status or influence?

Recognizing these signs is one of the most powerful steps we can take to confront bullying. When we notice someone repeatedly tearing others down, it should raise an immediate red flag. Our willingness to question and resist these discrediting narratives can be life-changing—not just for ourselves, but for the person being targeted.

There is strength in simply refusing to believe every negative story we hear. Even if the claims sound convincing, pause. Consider the source. Ask the questions. If the answers point to a pattern of discrediting, you may be witnessing bullying in action.

By withholding validation from the bully, we offer dignity and support to the one being bullied. And sometimes, that quiet act of resistance can make all the difference.

Bullies rely on subtle, manipulative tactics.
Recognizing the game is the first step to ending it.
➡️ [Grab your Bully Proofing guide today.]
#ArmedWithInformation

Bully Proofing