In the article “11 Warning Signs of Gaslighting,” published by Psychology Today, gaslighting is described as a tactic where a person or entity, to gain more power, makes a victim question their reality. The article says that gaslighting is a common technique for abusers, dictators, narcissists, and cult leaders.
Applying this thought to a bully’s overall agenda, we see how all bullying characteristic works together to achieve one ultimate goal–gaslighting. That is, to create a “believable” false narrative influencing others against their victim. It is sabotage on every level. Onlookers become numb and impaired in their judgment. This is because they have drunken, so to speak, from the Kool-Aid of gaslighting.
The brave few who defend a victim are quickly cut down to a stump by the gaslighter or their followers. Unfortunately, a gaslighter typically has loyal followers, and utilizing these followers is part of the manipulation. These supporters are strategically placed within a bullying scenario to cheer on the bully and browbeat opposers.
For those of us who recognize being in this type of bullying situation or being an eyewitness to it, we must decisively put down the cup of Kool-Aid handed to us by the gaslighter and their followers. This is an intentional step in thinking clearly during manipulation. We must stop drinking from a narrative that has become convoluted. Even the best minds will have trouble deciphering between what’s true and what’s being deliberately spun. Therefore, the antidote is not found in looking at facts (that may be falsified) but rather in character. It all goes back to character. When in doubt, the character is a safe guide to reality and wisdom.
For instance, a victim’s narrative may look bleak because it’s been vandalized and discredited by a bully—but their character will always tell a different story. Likewise, a bully’s narrative may look sleek and well- packaged—but their character will always smell of threat and intimidation. In other words, even if a bully’s narrative is convincing, joining their camp is a dangerous venture. In the same way they treat others, they will eventually treat you.
Do you know someone who is being bullied? If so, give them an encouraging wink that lets them know you are not drinking the Kool-Aid served by bullies/gaslighters. (Paula Masters)
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